PC Treminology for Country Folks

LOG ON: makin a wood stove hotter
ANALOG: will also make a stove hotter
LOG OFF: don't put on no more wood
RAM: the thing that splits the log
MONITOR: keepin an eye on the stove
DOWNLOAD: gettin the wood off the truk
CHAT: whut our wimmin folk do
MEGA HURTZ: a log fallin on your toe
FLOPPY DISC: from carryin too much wood
STATE OF THE ART: a PC you can't afford
SCANNER: whut we do with our wimmin folk
LINKS: whar golfers go
OBSOLETE: any PC you own
REMOTE: my mother-in-law
URL: outside the city
HARD DRIVE: gettin home in the winter time
CLICK: whut ma truk starter does
FORMAT: ma pick-up truk needs two formats
MEGABYTE: a bite frum a large dog
PROMPT: whut the mail ain't in the winter time
FLOPPY DRIVE: drivin with a flat tire
NETWORK: them TV stations
CRASH: whut we do with our trucks
WINDOWS: whut ya shut when it's cold
WEB: whut dem spiders make
SCREEN: whut ya put in durin fly season
BYTE: whut dem flys do
BITS: the marks the damn flys leave
USENET: to take dem fish outta the water
INTERNET: whar ya want dem fish to land
SITE: my yard, home or town
I P ADDRESS: we call it the outhouse
MODEM: whut ya did to the hay fields
LAP TOP: whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD: whar ya hangs yer keys
CHIP: munchies for TV
MICRO CHIP: small pieces in the munchie bag
CLIENT: dem Yankees I take fishin
SERVER: my bartender or waitress
MUD: my front yard after it rains
FLAME: whut I lite the stove with
NEWBIE: my 12 yr. old daughters little boy
MOUSE: whut eats the grain in thee barn
DOT MATRIX: old Ben's wife
SPAM: what we eat Tuesdays and Fridays
JAVA: cuppa hot coffee
PROGRAM: whut ya get at a ball game
SOFTWARE: them dang plastic knives and forks
PORT: fancy Northern wine
MOUSE PAD: hippy talk for a mouse's home
MAIN FRAME: whut holds up the barn roof
ENTER: Yankee talk for "C'mon in ya'll"