Words of Insight and Wisdom V

Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.

Never marry a woman who uses a smoke alarm as a food timer.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

I AM in shape. Round is a shape.

A smoking section in a restaurant is like a peeing section in a swimming pool.

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

An optimist thinks we are living in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.

Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up.

Some days you're the dog, some days the hydrant.