Order In The Court

The judge asked the defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw."

From out of the gallery, a man shouted, "YOU LYING BUM!"

"Silence in the court!" the Judge said to the man who shouted. Then he turned to the defendant and said, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."

"YOU FILTHY LIAR!" the same man in the gallery blurted out

"I said QUIET!" yelled the judge. Then to the defendant the Judge said, "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."

"YOU WEASEL!" yelled the man from the gallery.

The judge thundered at the man in the gallery: "If you don't tell me right now the reasons for your outbursts I'll hold you in contempt!"

The man answered back, "I've lived next door to that man for ten years, but do you think he ever once had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"