You think a stock tip is advice about groomin your hogs
"He needed killin" is a valid defense
You have an "Elvis" jello mould
Your wife owns a home made fur coat
You and your dog use the same tree
You vacuum your bed rather than change the sheet
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains
A "Say No To Crack" sign reminds you to pull up your pants
Your PC keyboard only goes up to #6
Your wife keeps a spit cup on the ironing board
You like "mater samiches"
Bondo is the primary color of your car
Your diploma says, "From the Trucking Institute"
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader
You've been too drunk to fish
Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a six pack
You say, "It's so dry, the trees are bribin the dogs"
You got your wifes phone # from a wall in a bars restroom
You borrowed dads tractor for your first date
E-I-E-I-O is how you spell farm
On your job application, under "sex", you put "as often as possible"
You can tell your age by the number of rings in your batbtub
You use a weedwacker in your living room
Your beer can collection is considred a tourist attraction in your town
Going to the bathroom at night requires shoes and a flashight
Your patio set doubles for your parlor set
You painted your car with house paint
Your junior prom had a daycare center
You think Genitalia is an Italian airline
You have more buckles than pants
You have more than 6 cousins named Bubba
You carried a fishin pole into Sea World
One of your kids was born on a pool table
You think safe sex is a padded headboard
You take more garbage OUT of the dump than you brought
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does
You think a quarter horse is a ride outside of Wal Mart
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the drive in
Your Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife
The blue book value of your car depends on how much gas is in it
Your dad walks you to school cause you're both in the same grade
You think duel air bags refers to your wife and your mother-in-law
Your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather
You fall OFF the floor laughing at the above
